You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
