I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
