omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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