I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
