we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
