Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
