so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Ketchup is God's man juice
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
