Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
