I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
