would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
