Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
