I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
nut hugger
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
