we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
