just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
