Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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