I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
