I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
