Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Randomize
