I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
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