Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
