I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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