let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
