I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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