it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
