Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i barfeds in our rink
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
