so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
