kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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