I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
