yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
