College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
