After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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