come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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