Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
