he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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