3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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