PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
