Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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