Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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