Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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