Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm both gender and math confused
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
