She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
