so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
