there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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