im drinking this country out of the recession.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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