I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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