my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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