Porn is love you can see.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I showed him my bush... on skype.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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