Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
