you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
