She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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