he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
