**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
